This is ma life

my life now

2008-02-03T12:28:00.000+08:00

having me to express my feelings in this blog doesnt meke me any wiser but jst make me feel a lil bit relief.. time for me to move on, a new chapter, new life, new begining for me to start a new me. its hard for me to have u in my life, kept quarelling, having me to let you be wit the 1 that u call jst a friend where everyones knows its nt and u jst cant deny it urself except giving reasons to people u that u guys are. its the obvious that two single person spending time together always arent jst a frends. but having you out of my life is much harder then having you in my life. everynite before i shut my self down to go to my dreamland i would have your face haunting me in my minds.. why cant it stop haunting me? i already knew abt the two of you a long time ago, right before i was enlisted to national service and i still jst let it be till the very end of our ralationship to reliase that u hve truely no feeling for me.. tats my flaws in being in a relationship. may b i was jst trying to show me mom tat what she said is not true but it is. quote, "didee, u kept having a girlfriend and end up breaking after every 6 mnth, so is she gona be the true one?" well i said yes to her and i try to show her tat it would be my last gerl but end up my mom is right after all. atleast now that she knew tat we are no longer together at last. its not easy for me to convey to her but i had no other choice but to tell her the truth. so now im living my life hapily being wit friends and cousins to spent my free time with. no used linger around someone who doesnt have any benefit at all for me. well so now since u had made up your choice to still linger wit that friend of yours, theres no other means for me to stay n kept having useless hope but to say gd bye and may you be happy of ur very own decision.

im sorie for...

2007-06-01T11:02:00.000+08:00

hey to all me friends, whos life been there? hope everythings ok there. mine dun ask, i'll tell it sucks big time. masok ns jek teros everything cork up. my life da kene sekat, i cant go or do wherever i wana go or do what eva i wanna do, nk mintak leave pon susah. nk pi jmpe kawan da susah, nk pi silat training lagi jng ckp tk der mase langsung. nk pi luar negeri overseas pon haiz.. menyikse. so many things to do. i cant take leave easily, cos tot of going to bali in august then nk amek leave they cant booked as the schedule of me training is not update yet. so they dun know if on the day that i gona booked my life is there any important training ive got or not. if there is so thats mean i cant take it. haiz. so more wit the pay that im having nw i dun think i could go also ah. so my friends jst gona go on wit out me. darn too bad. tak per le kirim dorang ah atleast. then family lak, most prob we gona sell our current house and shift but to where havnt comform yet. cpf da abes ah so ned to pay the house loan by cash and its alot ah. 4 digit no. so we could nt afford it any more so gona find a smaller house to stay and hopefully not too far from here. still want it to be nearer to cck. love this place already i dun think wana leave ah. frinds kat sini pon will be gone. da tk le lek2 ngan dorng lagi.
oh ya to kakak ku yng amat ku sayangi n kasihi. ceh.. no serious i do love my sis as in brother sister love lyke tat n im so so sorie to hear abt ur life after the cancellation of ur engagement. if its not mean to be then its not mean to be. so sad tat urs had to be over until the last minute of the marriage, atleast u should be hapi tat he do say it true abt his love for u nw then after marrage when its gona be too late. dun forget we are still here. me n my friends, still remember u and will try to make u hapi in other ways then thinking abt this stuff k. so hope u dun think too much n semua nie ader hikmah nye sebalik batu. like me, cos of this tragedy happens i realise tat i should be more happier being wit my own friends and spend my time doing wat i had miss doing all this while rather then pikir kan nie sumer masaelah tentang fazzy wazzie, ape dier ngah buat ke, gi mane ke, ngan sape ke.. i da malas nk pikirkan nie sumer cos of u sis. u had make me see that even a lovely couple who dun fight often pon le ale2 berpisah mcm tu aje. ape lagi kalau didee yng slalu quarrel cos of stupid things n her stupid wrongs doing which she her self didnt know that its wrong.. so part of the hikmah is there. so hope u ar being happy n enjoy life nw. jng stress2 k kak. u noe i cried when i see ur face stress like that which i never saw u so stress like tat before. we all love u. we are all here for u k, me faziz, mat, shidi, ahfatt, fazzie, amalina, ela senang kate all my frinds yng know u la. taking care all. caro mano.

nice song by taufiq...

2007-03-12T12:23:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n46h04Y4M8

nice song lehh.. watch it..

da dae after first booked out.

2007-01-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

wah lau 2 weeks in confinement in camp macam two years sei!!! rindu sei sume kat sini!! started da first part of me ns life in selarang camp in changi, jauh sia. there friends or bunk mates was great. camp was a bit old ah since it was used to be da camp for p.o.w. during the WW2 but in all should be ok ah for now. the first weeks of training was tough. since da slack jek before ns then suddenly kene tekan terok terok was drastically changing me life. sleep at 10.30 and wake up at 5.30. everday in camp is like dat. then nk tau ape? i did fainted during my route marched which consist of only 6 kilometer. hahaha.. 6 klick da tk le tahan ape da lagi lau 32 sei during POP nanti in march bulan tiga. face down flat sei jatoh. wit the full battle order pack, heavy helmet, and my wife which is my rifle. everywhere i go i ned to bring it. as a sign of responsiblity to the ownership of the rifle. then was kekek ah. shocking for me friend ah as they tot i was ko. then today i will be booking in bak camp.

life outside camp pulak was hectic, got some problems. well jst to say jst before half and hour after i booked out i got the answer tat i tot couldnt be answered before. the answer tat had be questioning in me mind da past few months ago. i knew this is coming as i can sense it but try not to make any wrong judgement till the truth is out. so its out now and jst had to be another part and parcel of me life again and again. till when will this thing stop happening to me also i dunno. but im relief ah tat it is trulie not abt me tat make u hav changed, its jst abt u. thanz for nothings all this while. u may not appreciate the things or the true luv i had given but i do cherish da momment and memories we been thru.

da dae i am going to leave for selarang..

2007-01-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

well its 11.45 p.m 11 dec 2007 now. in jst a few hours layta i will be in selarang and considered a new man serving da National Service. nk ckp da ready for ns tk la pulak but i tink im all set pack ah for the camp. mentally and fisicaly not realie ah. mane nk pikiak pasal benda yng terjadi kat luar, mane nk pikiak rindu kawan, rindu hidop relakz haik.. niwae jst wana sae to my budak2 Silat Macan Pasrah, do your best and trained well for the up coming PSP competition. for those who is unable to compete for ur own personal reason then too bad, but can atleast if got tyme do come down anytime free and support the team. yng masok tu kan mesti do ur best and if tak dapat naek next round jng pasrah, u've done ur best, tats should be ok. abg zul, pls take care of the guys, make them hapi and u will feel hapi too. kalau dorang tk dengar kate ketok jek dorang ngan punching bag. ahak. Atim, as the manager do take care of the well being of the team, the tyming, the weight catogary, their weight, and ic, and stuff like tat ah. its not easy to be a manager but its a good thing tat u ar being one. as for me rastafarian gangs, thanz2 alot for all the things u guys had done and times u had spend wit me jst to enjoy wit me before the very dae im serving the NS. the KL trip and back to homeland was a blast of Fun, the met up every week, the bbq that we jst had, and the final met up on the wednesday, tat one i have to sae sorie to bring up the matter to all, but ya thanz also as its seem to be working rite for the two of us. im going to send an email to ain as a shout out to u guys hope she could convaye the msg to ya all. sori kalau menyusahkan eh capitan.. so take care ya all and take care fazzy wazzy lah for me. most probably will be out in two weeks which is on the 27 i think. SEE ya soon... gd bye happy life, welcome stress life in selarang.

the sad and stupid me...

2006-12-29T12:21:00.000+08:00

hey there, yesterdae i went to ps wit friends to watch a nite in the museum. im nt sure if the title is rite but some sort lyke tat ah it sound, jst because i didnt remember the title doesnt mean the movie was bad, i was a gd one, hillaries. well that all up to u to decide and watch it for ur own self. then then dae befor yesterdae set down wit ain, shaq and fazzy at mac dnld. and i did got lectured by them, i am trying to be the one i use to be. i know im wrong. but hey im not the only person wrong here for wat i knw, atleast i knew wats me wrong. but i guess u havnt seen the light yet my dear. well i cant sae much cos even how badly she or we treated each other i do cherish the part we are stil together, but the things is wats da point of being together jst for the sake of being together without knowing the love for each other? understand? well anyway im seing that this is all not ur mistake but its da wae u ar brought up, tats the mistake, thats wt i reali felt make u be this wae. i try to change for the better but if u tink wat im doing here is out of the point then i cant sae much. it truly up to ur loss for not seeing wat im reali doing for you.

then today u declare that i m suffercating u, by alwys be by ur side and u said u need space wit ur colleague, ok. then whole day i wont bother you, disturb u. only u know wt you ar doing. take care and enjoy urself then.

the new me now...

2006-12-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

wow, its been so freaking long that i had not put anything in me blog hey.. well well well, ive got so many to say but dun noe where to start. ok hows abt start from what i doin now aite? im now not werking no more. merempat jek kat umah buang mase. cause not long im gona be in national service. Army. serve da nation la org katekan. so my driver coke didnt want me no more for he had another worker so he took da decision to stop me.. so nw i jst wake up late and didnt do nothing but jst releks kat umah jek ah if not go out at tymes met me friends. i jst came back from Kuala Lumpur with 7 of me friends. Faliq, Shakir, Sappian, siti nurul Ain, dini adek nye, maisarah, Fazilah and me. went there via bas from golden mile. then they send us straight to our hotel in KL which is Federal hotel and is so called a four star hotel which to me doesnt seem lyke wat is its standard. the first day we went to makan out lunch at secret recipe, then straight to PS for shopping. there we bought lots and lots of stuff. and Siti eventually cant take the heat and tension of the crowded people so at the taxi stand otw bak she already throw out, shit thats alot! so after the tiring day 1 shooping and the hectic we went bak to the hotel. at the hotel we bum in to siti's room and played mind games and stuff. stayed up till late morning. so til then next day it was.
morning breakfast at the lobby hotel, then went bak to take a nap for a while then to KLCC for shopping, but before that we went to lot ten to check out the shopping centre there. then ate A&W at KLCC which eventually u should eat there since theres isnt any more here in singapore. after the gangs doing some browsing and shoping and me, faliq and shakir do some talking at the starbucks we return to PS for the last tyme. do some last shopping there, then went bak to hotel.
couldnt sleep there, got some thing fishy there. then stayed in shakirs room tat day till late morning too but its more layer then the first nite. then morning wake up geting ready to pack our bags to return home. went to lot ten to buy our last minute shopping thigy. then the next day hrc. those who are there u guys know wat happen. i still counldnt believe wat happen sei.
hahahaa. all in all we did have a great tyme and holiday at KL. the last holiday i would get before i serve me bloody NS. so thats it for now. i try to upload some of the pic in the blogs. taking care all. peace out. heidee.

me now..

2006-04-21T20:05:00.000+08:00

hey ya all.. been ages its seem tat i didnt update this lovely blogy of mine.. kind oof bz but went i got the tyme also i dint update cos its seem too much to put in but still got nothing to write.. well nw here goes for the life of me nw. ermm.. where i start eh? ok2 i miss all me friends, scoolmates,my brother who is in ns, abg2 yng terangkat yang sudah lame tk jmpe, me silat mates, me girls friends we hang out at town together, me beach friends, me chengsan dance friends, including the kompang jugak tk di lupakan, n too all of ya guys out there that i didnt get to shout out i miss ya all.. me nw had finish me skol, waiting for the result. waiting for the national service to call me for enlistment, so im werking now as a so called kuli as some would sae for coke F and N coompany. morning till afternoon and late evening sometimes.. five days a week so tats y im unable to met up me friends tat me misses..
nw im in a mini silat league organised by me silat group. well i heard it was me brothers idea but too bad he cant participate in it as he had to serve for his NS. sori hor.. but do hoping he will be able to make it for me game as every fight i always need him to be me perngapit.. this sunday, 23.4.06 i will be compiting for two fight. not sure if im ready or not but sure thing i am gonna give it all out and give my best effort to win it. it will be held at chengsan cc. for me friends who wanted to come and support me pls do come.
nw me status is attached. im wit a swit lovely gerl tat i had known for quite a while, boleh dikatekn sekejap jugak actualie. dun wanna brag or talk much abt it ah. still new. niting can happen, jst pray for the best lor. she just seem nice and decent as i knew her. but behind tat innocent eyes may god know what lies beneath. jst tat she didnt show no shit to me ever since we were together. so presume ok2 ah for the moment. niwaes im da same old me. flirting around wit friends and love making more friends, tat makes her kind of scared for me for she sae she didnt want to get hurt. but hey, me? i me self is afraid as i can sae i had been through a whole lots of shit wit me previous exs. wat makes this gerl different from the others? well as i usually sae tymes will tell. u dont do shit for i dont do shit neither aite gerl.. ok done for now got to go. taking care all. if i got sumting to write i will post again.

2006-02-03T04:12:00.000+08:00

sorrow send deep inside me blood, all the ones around me i cared for and loved,
but most of all, for i cant see myself this way,
pls dont forget me or cry when im away.

the truth is out there only some people didnt see it. i knew it all along that u are someones precious. but i cant jst forsaken me own heart and leave ya there alone in the dark with mirely a light to keep ya balance. for me u are at the edge of the cliff, or the tip of the water to sink ya in. anytime ya could fall, plundge to the deep ocean jst bcos ya cant see the light. think wisely ah if u dun want to feel pain. wat shall i sae? u pick ur own pathway. janji nya happy. if u are happily together then let it be. i understand me position also. i knew where i stand right now. but actualie im siting ah typing this post. tyme will tell tales. but this tales doesnt mean a happy ending. it may be the other wae. as long as u are happy with ur decision then im happy for ya too. this is lumrah hidop. da biase ah kene gini. but jst think ah, would u share ur toothbrush wit other people? some may say yes, some may say no. but for me the ans is No.

tok tuk hilang

2006-02-03T03:54:00.000+08:00

well, been awhile lost me self. ya im lost. sumone pls help me. i ned guidience. wat to do wit me life like tis. been asking to other people wat shall i do but they kept saying my mom is still my mom. cant do noting. but till when will i be in this situation? well this is me. i jst have to accept it kan. i noe all this is happening for a reason. niwae, went to kampong melayu todae after skol wit abg din, salwa, cikgu, jane, farhan to take the cosume for the performance though i didnt involve in it ah. but too bad this ten days tats mean till next week thursday im bz at nite tyme to go for the ceramah wit me family except me mom ah ofcos. wat eva la her life, dier tanggung la. then after picking up the costume then we went to chengsan cc cos they got practice there. i got to go early from there. wat a waste. cant be wit me frens.. to whom it may concern, im sorry i unable to stay long there. thans eh for the compliment abt me uniform, kan da ckp ok tak caye. should do sumting abt da failed thingy eh. change ya attitude n ya will be in the right path. ya i will try to msg ya in the morning so tat ya wont feel awkward k. gd for ya abt ya new brother. sorry to abg din in any wae if i had dissapointed ya as i cant make it to be there for ya. jst hoping ya guys would understand.. taking care to all my frends. do drop me a tag and keep the ball rolling..

come wat mays

2006-01-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

Hey there.. yesterdae went to werk for ah tee coke delivery in the bugis area. Two load, fast ah n darm tired leh. Then after werk went home to get change for dinner at town. Wat an expensive meal. Tel u frankly it was my first tyme eating dinner at the high cost. Ahak. Padahal le pi mkn kedai kopi. Hahaha. Then I persuade Abg Din to go cheng san cos his dancers are there practicing without him. he got his problems that he shared wit me. Then we had a lil talk at the coffee embassy. Guess wat, woolly likes coffee but not tea. Hahaha.. it’s a game I learned when some of us went to chill out after the so called metting. Hey sharil is it? Ur car was wack man! So the jealous abt it ah that u had a lisence and the preety car share wit ur dad while u are one year younger then me.. then we go to smoke shisha. Was so rich in flavour. Apple. Then pi makan kat jln kayu ah lu. Went back home abt 3 am.

Then I didn’t slip. Tok to A till late morning. Talk abt hows A life and all then we came to a conversation abt sumting that I had been keeping it for quite a long tyme before. Then I told A why I ask for the no. at first but then why I didn’t contact A and all.. kene simpan no. buat tayang lak.. I simply dun like the wae BMW goes. I had been through once as I was left for the better other, from then I knew how hurt it is. So I dun want to do it to other people la. Wats there is there, if not then never mind loh. but yeah we will still be friends la. That’s fine wit me. Since we had said wat we should had said to each other then tats done. Felt relief. C la wats come may.
To B, i knew we are jst friends. Cant see that theres any sign of me being an interest in you. Issit? Some more to me point of view u wont knew my dissaperance if im not there as u has lots of others wit u to be wit. So im keeping me self down low. Dun give some one the lead if u are not interested in them or it might come down hard on you if the other party is already attracted to u and while u are jst simply being the queen bee. So let it be.

Me relax jek ah kat home. To me cussy, we still got some disagreement between our aunties and uncle now, so not the tyme to be hanging out again for now. Sape2 yng le pi, pi la. For me I need to relaz kn dulu ah. Satu problm lom abes da pi ke dua lak.

lalala tam poi

2006-01-27T02:37:00.000+08:00

The diary of mine. Well I kind of in a so2 mood ah now. What that means is that im not that happy nor not that sad mood. Im happy for my friends whos in a good mood this past few days but for those who is in the bad mood… to bad loh.. jst went back from cheng san training. Didn’t know that my computer was fine till I tried switch it on cos for wat I knew it was not being able to switch on and also log in to the net. At last I got to update some of it hor. Im not wit me chinese gerl no more rite but to all of u guys.. please I jst dnt want any of u to fall for her dirty tricks again n again. I dun even wanna know her no more. I was so shocked when she came to the cc last sat. lagi le slumber jek. Still have the cheeks to make friends wit some of da involving members which she didn’t even knew at all in the first place. Then sit there lyke nobody business lyke nothing happen gitu. Wahlau. Then tats sparks the topic of gossips for the day, ME!! I dun even knew y or who invited her to that practice… some more my bestiest skol mate flend came to met up wit me cos wana tok abt some problem she had then ask me how me ex still at me practice. Bcos this chinese gerl ever did the things that is not expected to me bestie. It is simply not appropriate ah wat u had did to all my friends and even blood cuzzons! I was fooled by ur kindness and shit came in return. This is part of it y I didnt even sae a word to her nor I give a patty smile face. Strike 3 you are out!!!
Ya all humans do make mistakes but hey, this is different ah. Too much ah I can sae.

But in all wat I came to see was the practice and It was nicely done. Some of the steps are already cerograph and ofcos hopefully eh that u guys wont forget the steps cos this week end tak der training, off for Chinese new year.

Ok below are some text or shout out to me friends which I didnt mention names not to create disagreement among the person I referring to and also I wana make u guys guess who this character really is.. If u knew who they are then keep it as it is to urself

To Mr bombastic, egoism is not goin to make u go far tau. Its gona make u stagnant instead. Pls do try open up your eyes , heart n soul for wat is happening around and try to see what u should do to help out wit ur problems that arose rather then being naïve and not even bother abt other people then u own self.
Next is to kupu2 da lame tak dengar khabar, ape khabar? As I sae in my previous post enter at ur own risk. So pls I try to warn u before abt this gerl. If u feel pity for her then u are gona sink urself ah under the pond but nasib baek ade ikan ble la tolong eh. Ikan mane le lemas dalam air.
Abt this lalat character, im speechless. Cant belive u did this to me but nvm wats past is past for me. Lets by gone be by gone. I strongly pledge to meself I dun raise any grudges upon ya.
Abt butterfly, this character is still in me life. Confused state every tyme but im not sure wats is it between us. Ofcos we are jst friends but I kind of have the butterfly in my stomach feelings when ever I saw this character and it cant be explained in words. Now the virus has spread to me lak. Im confused. Ahak.
To minah rilek, abt ur guy, I think u should give some time to settle between both of u. since he did not played u out wit other gerls, jst the difference perspective point of views between u guys, It wont b a good reasons to let him go. Ned to talk wit him, see wat he actually wants n wats in his mind. Then u go n try to understand and of cos vice versa. If u are da only one that is willing to sacrifice to manage this relationship then I think its up to u to decide wats ur next best moves. Try to play it like a chest game. But mind u if u are in the wrong moves, check mate. N may b thatz the end of it, no turning back the clock nor the game as this matter ur long relationship.
Abt king scorpio, wat should I sae abt this person is that im greatful that u are always there when I need someone to seek feedback and opinion abt everything n also keep me accompany jst when I needed the most. Always been there for me. Will repay ya one day I hope. Thanz ya.
To birdie, if u aim for wat u want, u could get it ah. But if u go for it in the right wae I mean. Once seen cant resist huh. Then go for it la. But think try change ur attitude first ah. Something is not right somewhere. If u amend the mistake abt urself then it wont b a problem ah to have this diamond u been aiming. Jst dont mind abt the other creature that is ingulging the same diamond. The creature wont go far la. Hope this diamond of urs think wisely of it decision.
tats all for now see ya again if i got da tyme to post again aite.

me.

2006-01-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

Well well well… how my life been so far.. Haiz.. malay say tongang terbalek la. Complicated and so stress up ah.. I dont know how or why this things happen so sudden to me life. I am grounded now for jst a small mistake Ive done and then I gave up my relationship wit whom I thought would b da 1 but wasnt meant to be la. Wat to do. U got to go u got to go lor. To whom she had done the things that only certain people knew I apologized on behalf of her. Im thru wit her now. So whoever who still wanted to be friends wit her are please but jst give u one piece of advice. Enter at ur own risk. Dont tell me that I dont warn ya aite.

Last sat jst had a so called get back together camp wit the tarian and kompang group from Chengsan CC at pasir ris. Well how was it? Ntah eh.. mcm mendak lak. But so far ok2 la. Jst rest my mind for a while la. Thanz abg din for everyting eh. All da stress u gone thru hope ok2 jek la nw.

Btw, kupu2 da terbang melayang, tk dpt ku menangkap nya hanya dapat berdiri di sini dan ngok ia terbang keliaran sahaja la kene ngap ngan ikan. Butterfly lak dlm state yang bingung. Lalat lak ntah la eh..tak tau ah ape nk ckp ngan dier lagi. Bagaikan menolong anjing melepas apabila di ikat. What come around goes around eh org kate. Ini name2 hanya org yng tertentu jek tau ape cerite eh. Lau yng tak paham tu paham2 jek la.

silat camp

2005-12-28T12:10:00.000+08:00

hey ya all.. i've jst updated my photoalbum. pic of me in silat camps wit me silats frens.. check it out if u would. coming to a new year so hopefully u guys got a new year resolutions aite. hapi new year. taking care. start the new year a better and good ones.

wat next?

2005-12-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

last sunday, me and my cuzzies and some of mah silat friends went to pulau ubin. cycling and picnic. had a great tyme wit each other. got pic upload in my photo album. feel free to see it. but after that, sumting is wrong sumwhere. me mom bising, my auntie bising. wat happen also we dont know. we jst went there for leisure cycling together then suddenly my aunt got trigger a sparks wit my mom then my mom lak cari pasal wit all da cuzzins.. they sae we cousin go out together do sumting no good. saying sumtings and doing things thats make me and my cousins stress and guess there aint gona b another cousins hang out peacefully again. wat da hack... dengan pertalian darah sendiri hendak berentikan kite bersatu? this is stupid ah. she may seems gd enough, but if u are not in this house you wont know who she actually are.. pandai dier cover up perbuatan yng dendam dier tu tapi sepandai2 tupai melompat akhirnye jatoh ke tanah juge! u cant hide forever. eventually 1 day people will know who u really are. jumaat, my silat friend, always sleep over nite my house, didnt know that my mom is lyke tat till he saw it wit his own eyes and heard it wit his own ears, eventually now he knew who my mom really is. this may seem nothing and i also think its a small thing but yet we all cousins had a stress tyme together handeling this situation. i cant sae wat really happen cos i dun know how to sae, where to start. its so complicated ah.

after raye blog.

2005-11-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

Its been a long tyme I had not updated my bloggy. Computer under construction la. Sorie eh. Well, hari raya for muslim in Singapore is almost coming to an end. Hows all da celebrations goin? Sum said its ok, some said lyke normal and most of them said its lyke boring this year. Me kind of felt tha same way here. Jst da first week jek im done wit jalan raye. Started werking liao. Duno know y eh tak der rase mcm da urge of celebrating raye happily todae. But da good thing is that for a long tyme I had not celebrate raye wit a gerl n this year I got someone by ma side. Nice to go out raye wit my class mates. Can see pic in my photoalbum. Then go out raye wit Perguruan silat macan pasrah. Both of the group the attendance was appreciatable, atleast more then I expected. The more the merrier mah. And for the cheng san group nye visiting raye Im unable to come. So sorie abt that. So sudden got somethings come up. Ader yang keje, ade yng org datang umah cant go out. So sorie eh to let u guys down.
Abt me now…
Im jst a simple guy with a simple life. My Principe is simple. If u are there, u are there, if u are not there then too bad u are not there. Don’t wanna stress myself to find 1 but never stop finding ur true love till 1days u think that is da real deal for u is right infront of u then u can stop finding and stick to the one lyke glue. Never to give up hope for usually we have to find hope, not hope comes to us. I jst get to know this gerl, shes a Chinese. which actually I did said to myself I wanted to find a Chinese gerl to b my partner cause I had enough of the malay gerls. Jst cant be sincere enough towards pure love. Not to disgrace the malay gerls aite. Sape terase tu nasib badan la kan. But ofcos la I jst get to know u, I have not known the whole of u. ur past life and all. So I cant really say much ah but some say knowing all abt ur spouce can be dangerous too.

Time will tell who u really are and what u are to me. Jst let the wind blows by itself k. if we are fated to destined to be together then its fated.
Before I know u, my love life was lyke a dark tunnel still searching and waiting for the lights to lighten my life. Don’t even know when will I ever see the light again. Giving up was part of the feeling before but do still try my very best to search for the light. Then when I got to know u, I felt the lights upon my life is showing and lighting up more and more each days pass by when im with u. I do really feel u are the light I’ve been long waiting for. To my unexpected I get to know the most respected gerl to me I’ve ever dream of. Thanz for being part of me. I really appreciated that.

“U are my light, u are my soul,
with all my might, I will love u, care for u and till I have my last breath I will behold.
U are the one I’ve been dreaming for,
Hope my long dreadful awaited is no more.
When two different people from two different race,
Come together as one couple reaching for one same phrase.
Which is to find true love and to hold,
Hope to be as one till our life come to tolled
To unite as one couple in love,
Being bless by the God Almighty up above.”

Copyright by heidee.

chengsan

2005-11-02T02:31:00.000+08:00

hey there.. long tyme never had my blog updated huh. yeah been bz. well niwae wanna tok abt my show. last sunday i had a show at cheng san cc for the P.M. we colabo wit malay dancers and kompangs boys. for 3 weeks every saturday i had to spend my whole day there to practice for this big day. now saturday can go out already.. hahaha. well it was fun and experience show for us budak2 silat. this is our first tyme doing this kind of show with perfect tyming. its lyke dancing la but its actually to show our silat moves. me, jumaat, firdaus and izad, sacrifices our day jst to show and participate in this event. theres some photo taken and is in my photo album account. can see them as i updated them liao. and yeah thanz to abg zul for all this. its a gd experience for da four of us im sure of that. we did had fun. after the big show is done we do felt a big relief. ahak.

well another one more days to raye.so wit this i wanted to ask for forgiveness to all and if theres some mistakes, misunderstanding, misleading verbaly abuse u guys E.T.C.. im sorie k. To da Indian happy depavali. to all muslim and Those who Wanted to b a muslim a selamat hari raye. taking care all. will do update mah bloggy when i got the chance again.

mah bdae...

2005-10-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

well haloo to all..
yesterday i celebrated mah 20th bdae.. had mah break- fast buke puase la at soul garden at jurong point. well was ok la.. nothing much jst eat jek. but did get something mah.. my brother abg inn gave me this ring which i was creaving for it too a long tyme before la.. and kak rin gave me bag. nice one. thanz eh.. and i did get a whole lots of wishes from most of ma friends and some even i dont know who gave me a bdae wish too.. ahak.. thanz aniwae.. to all those wishes me for ma bdae, im truly touch and thanz so much. atleast the thought that counts.. so its still bulan puase so take care to all and have a great holy month BERIBADAH... assalm.

bulan pause...

2005-10-09T14:15:00.000+08:00

bulan puase bulan yng mulia..
bulan untok rajin beramalan dan meningkatkn pahala.

selamat berpuasa(fasting) to all muslim in the world.
do try your very best to stay away from sins..
controlled your anger,(hatered will lead to anger, anger will lead to suffering)
mouth(bad mouth people)
eyes(looking at things that are not to be looked at)
ears(listening things that is bad to listen such as gossips e.t.c.)
food,(only allowed to consumed food before Suboh, dawn prayers and after Magrib, evening prayers.)
and the most important days in the month of ramadan is the night of miricle(malam lailatul Qard)
with doing rituals on that day, is jst the same blessings as doing ritual for the whole year.

do hope for all the very best upon this holy month for all muslim..
assalmualaikum.

my ujian silat.

2005-10-03T10:22:00.000+08:00

on thE 1St OctoBer 2005, I GoT mY SilAt UjiAn at BiShaN. It was reAllY A FaILUre 4 mE. We pOLLed aNd i GoT 3rd. My bRoTher wAs FirSt. THen Kak RiN. BacK to Back Sei.. i DiD RemEmbEr ThE StepS WheN Abg iN AnD Kak RiN Did iT BuT WhEn It WaS mY TurN, I TOtAlly foRgoTTeN. LupE Giler! Gabra La agAk Nye.. And GuESS WaT? I FlunK. It Was A CleAr Cut Wat. LuPe TheN CekAk PaSang KudA2 suMe da Tak BetoL. ThEn OuT Of TheIr GooD HeaRt ThEy GiVe Me A SecOnd ChaNce. DonT KnoW tHat WaS poSSiblE. caUse mY BRotHer DiD FaiLed At HiS FirSt tYme BuT dID NoT Get The ChanCe To ReTest. Well GueSS It wAs Jst My LucK. FoR WaT i WaNNa BrAg AbT iT NoW WhEn I AlReAdy GoT Da AdvAnTage. RigHt? So i trIed agaIn upoN doiNg My TesT. wiT mY FriEnd JumaaT aSSisTance I paSsed My 2nd Retest.marKah poN cuKop2. 60 peRcenT... thaTs abt iT foR the TesT.

after the misery test i went to rumah abg ali. die buat bbq at his condo. it was fun there! we got to saboh kak atim masok dalam air. hahaha. kate nye didee step innocent padahal memang ah, i jst dudok 1 corner sei happily ngok dier kene buang dalam kolam air tu. kesian dier eh hahaha..but the most funny part was when she commented that abt she cant swim. padahal kite tarik die kat yng tak dalam sei.. but the most kesian part was when she was going home. i msg her abt her wealth being after the bbq and she replied that she wore 2 jackets and still felt so cold. tapi alhamdulilah la dier tak demam ke ape ke. ape ke tidak her whole body was wet. dengan gust of wind blowing through her when riding, didee pon mesti freeze to death siak. well it was for the fun of it kan. sorry for not helping you where else happily watching the show at the corner. hahaha.. then after that we went to the toilet to steam ourself in the sauna room. grek, berpeloh mcm baru jek abez mandi sei. ah this is good for thoose persilat yng nak turon weight pi la jmpe ang ali pinjam dier nye sauna room kat pool area tu. hahaha..
to all the instructor that had invigilate us for the test i would like to say thanz being rather fair upon the result that was given to each and every 1 of us. thanz to abg ali for inviting me and my whole family for the bbq. really appreciated it. till we met again later in buka bersama2 nanti.
assalamulaikum.

cinta tak kemana..

2005-10-03T10:03:00.000+08:00

CinTa YaNg taK KeManA...

KaU Ku peRnaH cInTa, KaU ku pErnAh sayAng.
kaU Ku riNdU, wajAh Mu SerIng TerbayAng.

aPeKaH keSalAhaNkU TerHadAp diRI Mu?
mengHanCurI hAti ku SepErtI di TikAm DenGan PaKu.

ciNtaKu benaR, CinTaku iklAs.
TetApi BerGinilAh yNg TelAh DiBalaS.

KaU tIngGalkN dAkU KeSeoRangan,
TanpA MemBerikU SemBaraNgaN AlaSan.

MunGkiN KatA Ku kAu Tak DiPerduLi,
KeRaNa HatI Mu TeLah Di PeroLehi.

AkAn Ku DoA AgAr KamU BerDua KeKal PanJanGan DunIaWi.
Apa YnG TinGal AntAra KitA BerDua HanYa MenJadi SebuAh MimPi Yng TiDak MenjAdi.

lets talk abt silat

2005-09-25T03:12:00.000+08:00

Lets talk abt silat.

I started learning the art of silat since im 12 years of age. That’s was in the kampong. Learning abt the silat I was learning really thought me something. Well for me la eh the real perceptive meaning of silat is to showing the true art of it all.
Art in malay means seni. Seni silat means pasangan kuda2, hidopnye lian dan polah langkah, tangkapan “ibu” musoh dan kuncian, ilmu bela diri untok mase depan bile perlu waktunya. (spiritual and physically) upacare Bukak gelangang da tutopnya dengan membace ayat yng cukop ringkas seperti “al-fatihah” untok tidak ader perkare burok terjadi terhadap persilat2 yng sedang berlatih di dalam gelanggang itu.
Now, silat had taken into a new level. It change into a sports named seni silat olahraga. Which easily translate as duel combat. But the duel combat u see in old malay stories before and the duel combat u see now happening at bedok silat center is way different. The rules and regulations take a big part of it all. U can only hit on the vest it self to get point and of course da favourite was “kejatohan”. But learning pure silat is to learn self defend, to hit on the very weak point of ur enermy. That’s include head, nose, tekak e.t.c..
Isn’t this is stupid? Learn how to hit ur opponents vest rather then learning to hit its vital point? So if its too violent it cant be called sports. So to say there no other way loh. But by making this into a sport also has make a good deal out of it. its going nation wide. Even into other countries and countries u don’t even know silat exist there. This means it has comercialised silat it self to other people of other religion from other region of the world. That’s the good part of it la. But persilat2 in hometown had taken this sports too seriously. Eventually its corrupting some of the perguruan ( different silat groups) here. Because of this sport it had broken ties from different perguruan. Don’t want to mention la which group which. Becos of misleading, mis understanding of different teaching of different technic to execute had make ties to broke off. This make be bad to some but to some its jst nothing. For me its stupid if u did that. The real silat is not in olahraga! If u are crazy enough abt it then I cant say much la. Yes its addictive but u must see whether its worth while all this distruption wit ur own perguruan or not. Abt goin to other silat perguruan to learn their skills upon olahraga, (peng) for me that’s stupid..guess if u are crazy abt olahraga then don’t know wat to say la but if u wana go to other perguruan for absolutely different reason example wit something that got to do wit pure silat then that should take into consideration. Think again my fellow silat mates. Is it worth while?

love

2005-09-25T02:52:00.000+08:00

Love can be happiness and can sometimes hurt;
It can be a betrayal
There for you seek comfort.
Love can change your life
and be the the happiest you've ever been;
Love can change your personality
And be someone no one has ever seen
Love can make you strong
When you have someone by your side
Love can make something beautiful
That neither will have denied.
Love can bring you joy
Even at the saddest times;
Love can make you smile
Even while writing these rhymes.
Love is trust
And the truth must always be told;
Together both can work through anything
And lies must you never hold.
Love is a feeling
And a word with meaning;
Love can be good and bad
But something everyone believes in
There are so many words
That can describe how I feel
But happiness is one
I can definitely reveal.
You brightened up my life
In way no one will understand;
I will do anything for you
As my best friend,
lover even husband
My heart has been broken before
And you have made it whole
With the kindness in your heart
And your beautiful soul.
The tears I cry now
Are of how happy I have become
You will always be in my life
And remain to get a special welcome.
Whenever I am down
I can always run to you
No matter what the situation
We will work it out and never argue.
Days when I am lost
And my soul is no where to be found
Please stand by me baby
Cause without you I will drown.
I know sometimes I can hurt you
With the stupid things I say
But I have loved you all this time
And never stopped for a day.
I am scared of losing you
And you moving away from my heart
But deep down I know Nothing will ever be able to tear us apart.
I just want you to know
That I always want what is best for you
I'll always put you before me
And I'll always remain true.
Days when I miss youI can't handle being alone
Each day that passes by
I can't remember what it was like on my own.
You have changed my life so much
And its all been for the better
You have made me so happy
Times while you ache inside
I will still be there
I'll help you through your fights
Because I love you and I care.
I can see me with you forever
I can see us growing old
We will remain close together
And let our story be told.
I can see myself walking down the aisle
And you waiting at the end
Standing next to the love of my life
As the ceremony commends.
I can see us for the rest of our lives
Having kids and living in happiness
Watching them grow older
As they become more gorgeous.
I can see us growing old together
Becoming grandparents in our age
Look back at so many memories with more to make
As we turn another page.
I don't know what could break us
Our relationship is so strong
Each day you prove to me
How much you and I belong.
But if ever I were to lose you
And we couldn't talk or feel you near
I will always love you and remember you
As I cry an ocean of tears.
Throughout my life I have never shared a love
Of the kind that I have with you
A love so beautiful and strong
Always sharing and true.
Your heart will always be with my heart
It will always be you and I
I will never hurt you or let you go
And I'll never let out love for each other die

a complicated life

2005-09-25T02:41:00.000+08:00

The miserable life of a complicated luv between me and this ex-gerl of mine.

We got to know on 29th …
8 august when two become one.
25th august when a whole heart is broken up into lil bits of pieces.

Well I get to know her when we exchange smiles at cck when we always bum into each other. Then we exchange msgs in friendster. Then exchange phone number. Talk and get to know more abt her. met up and go out together. Seem likes an angel. So da decent looking person. But the worst is yet to come out of this devil in disguised. We tend to become close to each other as day by day, then we decide to become one. That’s on the 8 august of 2005. but we went through hell within this short period of time together. She gets to know this guy im not sure from where. Then met up wit him and talk on da phone behind me. This period of time we are already attached. So ok this is one. I caught her a lot of times lying to me. Saying she went to shop to buy something but was actually meting up someone else, saying she went to study but actuali went out somewhere else, Saying that she was at home but actually she was at this guys house.( this was after I broke up wit her then I get to know abt it la) this part is the worst of all. I called her home and her mum pick it up. I ask abt her but her mums told me she went out. Then I called her hp she lied saying that she was actually at home and her mom lied because they we fighting wit each other but actually she was at this guys house doing the worst you could imagine.(she eventually confessed) For goodness sake wat a cheap one u are. U are attached and yet u wit HIM? And at that time I was werking wit ma daddy, then we thought of metting up after me hard werk at her klass barbeque and eventually I persuade ma dad to send me there after our tiring day of werk but jst to know she did all this to me.. what do u guess happen after that? Broke up on da spot la since she confessed. Ok2 then days pass by, she told me she regretted all her doings. She wanted more chances to change for the better. Da way she said it seem as if she really mean it. well she is a sweet talker mather f**ker you know. So I decided to give her that very last chance. We were like normal after day by day, but no string attached. I need to see whether it is worth while for me to take her back or not. im trying my very best to put all the negative thinking abt her at the back of my head but some how or rather it does pop out of my mind some times. So we talk on da phone, didn’t got da time to met up cause im bz at that time of the week, and eventually when I got da chance to met up wit her, she decided to play the hard way. I planed to met her on this one Friday, after skol. Then she told me nevermind. Later at home we could talk abt it where to go. Then for me ok. She go home first la. When I reach home, I called her up, she told me she need to wash up first. Then after that she gone called me up. So we put down da phone. I get myself ready. Then after half an hour I didn’t still received a call from her so I decided to called her up. She started saying “how” then I was lyke wat was that all abt? She started picking a fight wit me jst to hang up tha phone wit me. Then she did hang up so sudden. Called her up lots of times she didn’t answer my call. Then I kol her home. Her mom says shes out. I was lyke wat da hell is happening here? So I decide to jst go to the interchange and met her up there eventually theres only I stop at the interchange. Then I caught her alighting the bus. Pulled her one corner n ask why da hell she is doin this to me. Deep in my heart I knew she is doing her stupid act again. Then talk and talk she at last declare to me asking who I am to her asking abt her where bout. Wat da hack? U told me u gonna change? Then u do this again to me? Guess who’s she metting up? That guy. Wahlau im so piss of.. so u go ur way and i go mine..

Well that’s was the end of her and my story of her. what I thought at first was a beautiful story to begin end up to be a horrible tragic disaster.

Theres no point changing, u will always be u. jst leave…

abt u gerl

2005-09-25T02:39:00.000+08:00

This is abt u gerl

U are the best out of all the worst that I ever had been,
But out of all best, u are the worst ever! (get wat I mean)
Let me translate it in malay if it help..
Awak adalah yng terbaek antare yng summer yng burok,
Tertapi antare summer yng beak, awak la yng terburok dan terkutok.
U may think u are something or someone urself,
But actually u are absolutely nothing..
U can never controlled someone if that sumone herself / himself don’t want to be controlled.
Somehow or someway they will still go their own way in the end.
what left of us will only be a dream..

who am i?

2005-09-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

Well, who am Its up to u to decide. If u think im a mat rip, then I am 1. if u think im a relek kind of a person then im 1. if u think im cool and fun to hang out wit, then im 1. if u think im a playful, bastard kind of a guy, then im 1. each different people have its own perception view of other people. i may be a good loving fun guy to some but in otherwise, some say im bad, shit n ego kind of a guy.. so in all It doesn’t matter who I am. Its up to u to decide.. love u all. Peace.

silat was a hard ting

2005-08-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

jst had my silat tournament yesterdae. and guest wat i lost.. ofcourse to da champion, rifdy.. haiyah. never did i been bashed up so the terok before in my silat fight til yesterdae. from head to toe my body hurts.. atleast i did my very best & i guess i did improved on myself this time. so sori if i dissapointed my fellow brothers n fans.. but thanz to all hu came to supports me.. my mom, adek irfan, hakim anak sedare, my brothers and the Macan Family in silat, and my friends such as att and ros ganas and lastly to u my baby gerl. sori la kalau mcm datang jauh2 jst to see me lost tha fight. thanz u all for being there for me. reali appreciate it. atleast ridy did kol me up to sae sori n see hows im doin hahaha.. he was my sparing partner and my friend. wont giving up on supporting u bro even though u give a hard punches and kick on me.. a tournament is a tournament. that is tha wae wheather i lyke it or not. is not that i or rifdy is tha one who choose to fight wit each other. we polled and wat we got is to fight each other. im cool abt it aite. dalam gelanggan kite berlawan tetapi luar gelanggang tetap kite berkawan insyakallah.. for the other fellow Macan fighter who lost, there will be a next tyme. those who won, good luck for ur next up coming game. silat ini mempertahan kan diri. selagi kite boleh TAHAN, tahan la kan.. hahahaha.. kalah menang tu belakang cerite. atleast we did our very best. thats all for now. taking care all.

falling in luv

2005-07-22T01:05:00.000+08:00

Ok2, wanna ok abt luv life. It’s been days already we got to know each other. Abt few weeks already huh? Aniwae we are so called closed but I still dun understand wat is really in her mind? wat she is still thinking? Why her heart felt lyke tat? Why she is a narrow minded?
First we are frens then we becames lovers. But not officially declared, I dun want it to b tat fast. Ned to get to know her more. But we did exchange saying from each other abt how we felt abt us. I hope u really know wat is really in my mind.
Abt ya ex’s, I don’t really mind u guys being in contact wit each other unless u knew ur limits now. If u regards me as sumone special, then u know how to treat me properly and how to treats ur friends differently. If u dun then can treat me LAHABAU as u lyke la..it is natural abt hard to 4get abt da past.. I dun blame u. but if there is a will, there is a wae. Antare u nak luper kan dier ke tak la.. I get to forgot abt ma 2 year ex after a year tinking abt da past, then I really dun tink of her anymore. But for wat I can see in front of my eyes Is that u dun really have da interest to forget abt him now where else u are making him coming bak to u again. I mean by dae wae u tok t him, layan him sumting lyke tat. I had “fall” in luv a lots and a long tyme so I tink I knew wat is really da meaning of true luv. U hav to fall which means jatuh as in backstab, rejected, played to really see da true luv. My friends sae tat LUV is actually ourself. Without luv I wouldn’t be here right now. Think abt tat. So being in luv is jst being urself. If u hav to change a lot of urself jst to be in luv, for me tat is not true luv, it is luv but not a true ones. Bcos to be in luv ur spouse have to accept da wae u really are. If u are mean to be together then u are, if not then too bad la. Adernye cinta, ade. Kalau tak der then tak la. But surely one dae all of us will la. One fine dae.
What is luv? Luv is being to dare to fall for it, dare to commit and face challenges in it. If u are lucky da challenges is small, if u are not then it would be big but nothing is that big to overcome. Its up to u if u want to continue n stay till the end or jst giving up on da spot. Patience is needed of cause in luv. Dare to be hurt by luv and dare to feel da pleasure and greatness of luv. Trust is another important word. Without it could cause danger in a relationship. Know da whole story. Not jst part of it. Tats If u heard rumors or have some doubts abt ur spouse.
wHat is in ur brains is different between wat is in ur heart. Trust da heart more. Not da other wae round. If u felt jealousy abt another person, u are falling in luv. Set perioties mostly upon ur spouse then other things in life, u are in luv.
Wanting to know abt ur spouse truly we inside out, that sae u are in luv. Accepting da flaws abt ur spouse. Knowing sumting bad abt dat particular person but still stay on. Tat is luv. That feelings u felt when u are wit this person is totally different wat u felt when u are wit ur usual friends. Tats is luv. So what is luv? Its more then meets the eye. U really have to see deep in to it to know wat it is.

hapi bdae

2005-07-13T18:47:00.000+08:00

Heyz.. went to town yesterdae which is tuesdae to celebrate hidayat, the president of OAC now, mcm paham ah dek nie president konon.. hehehe.. aniwae jst rounding2 kat situ pi makan kat lucky plaza, then chill out at takashimaya. It was a total strength of 12 members all together. Tat was da best part of all. Miss my old friends, lan, shaz e.t.c.. they were there too. Then we played this mind games whereby we have to recite numeral no. but cant sae da no. 3,6,or 9. if its our turn to and tha no. is either of this no., we must clap n not shouting out da no. its kind of complicated if I explained it here but I was really an enjoyable tyme. Well to u yad hapi bdae. Da 18 eh.. ceh..

wat a dae todae

2005-07-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

Haiyah.. wat was a hapi dae for me todae ends up to b a farking dae.
I went to sentosa to bum da beach n skim wit my silat frenz. Been a long tyme never bum da beach.. its abt a few month sei.. todae then got tha chance to do it. Then saw ma ex lover there wit her guy. Darm misses her and end up to met her there wit dat guy.. haiyah.. alah atleast dapat jumpe mah.. aniwae kat saner mandi mande, skim, play dog and bones la, flips, hahaha ya toking abt flips, faliq, my friends who jst got to know how to do a back flips but end up hit his face on the sandy ground.. it was a funny incident whereby all of our eyes are on him then he did that mistake.. kelakar giler.. laugh my heart out siak that tyme.. then after tat went to lucky plaza makan cos harbour front nye kedai kopi close for renovation.. then lepak kat Y.P. jak then alek.. fun n yet tiring..
Tot dats it for todae gonna have ma rest but suddenly my mom went back home and started shouting and asking me to do the washing cloth and hang it to dry by tonite. Aper nie giler? Eh its now 1.am in the morning and I jst wash the first load, theres another load of cloth to b wash and I have to do it by tonite. So I cant slip till it is done. Issint it crazy?! and the things is im the one have to do it! my twin memang da lahabau tak buat keje kat umah nie. my big brather lak lagu satu nye dol pemalaz jugak..Da datang giler dier mcm nie ah..dats y since im young she has been tha most hated person in tis house!! EEEEeee…. Wat is da duty of a housewife? Haiyah stop braging ah malaz ah.. she will never stop doing wat she does aniwae. I noe dat for sure. Ader maid pon tak gune. Aku yng jadi pembantu pat rumah nie lak.. dier? Supervisor,order jek aper kene buat.. selagi tak selesai sound mcm machine gun ah kuar dari mulut dier...
Reali hope not to get a wife lyke my mom. Reali dispice her a lot!!!!

da dae i FELL in LovE

2005-07-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. 2dae went out wit my frenz n this gerl I had just contact wit to town. To me its kind of boring ah that she just tag along where ever we went then she met up wit her frens. Then we met up again and chill out for a while before she went back on her own as I still hanging around there wit mah frenz. I dun want my frenz to sae that im a Girl minded person which mean when im wit a gerl and I 4got abt my guy frenz. So just wanna sae sori if it was a lame moment wit me jst now. We are just frenz, I mean im wit this gerl la. But I do have da heart for her, ever since we been together I already fallen for u, but not wanting to be in a relationship too fast and im also scared that im not gona have da chance to be wit her if I were to slack contacting wit her. I dun want it to b too fast nor neither I want it to be too slow or she gona tink im not in to her.
But what I can she is that its hard for her to 4get abt her ex-boy flend. Wats up wit that? U are alredi thru wit him. So let it be. Its not lyke u jst broke up. Its been a long tyme already wat.? Aniwae im not sure wats in ur mind so I cant jst judge u by tat la. But It is kind of irritating isn’t it every tyme when im wit her she would tok abt him, still finding him, tink abt him…. Then who da fark I am? Haizz.. I simply let da course of life take it’s toll. If u tink u really cant get thru wit this guy of urs then be it. If u tink u wana loose him some how from ur mind im always here. U know where to get me right..
The reason we sae we fell in love is because we act as if it sound as an accident. Like when an accident happen the outcome can be reali fatal or just a simple wound. If u are lucky enough or clever enough to break free from the accident, it gona only be hurt I little bit. But if u are unlucky or unexperience enough to get loose from the accident, its gonna hurt a lot. Tink abt it. Good things always gonna one dae come to an end. That is the fact of life..

blah2

2005-07-07T09:13:00.000+08:00

Ok, da lame tak update mah blog. Here goes.
Just recently I’ve been busy. Silat in PSP(Piala Silat President) and IVP (Invitational Varsity) I’ve lost in the first round in PSP. That was a shag for me la cos most of my friends that knew I was in it dun even support me. Just some give me gd luck wishes jek. Then I went in the IVP n I won 3rd in my class C. yes they are just bunch of newbies and some even inexperience but atleast I had done my school proud and I had achieve something which is to get a medal for my school. Im happy for my self and im gonna do mah best and harder for this up coming PSK pulak in august. For whoever support me from my back I appreciate it, thanz. And for those who got nothing better to do or just cant control ur mouth and giving me bad judgements or to any of my fellow silat frenz I jst accept it throw all dat rubbish in the other side of my ears. Masok kiri kuar kanan nak dikatekan.one dae u gonna relies ur mistake and u gonna regret it for sure. I just dun like to make enermies la. U may give me some thought that would bring me down from where I stand but im not as a low self esteem person as u are. Im able to cope it yes I will make it to the top insyakallah.

another sad dae.

2005-06-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

todae is another sad dae for me. my closest dance group friend *zuri*had lost someone special in his life. which is his father. he died this morning at 11 a.m. im so sori for him. his father was sick, had a cancer. died at the age of 51. went to the funeral n it was fine ALHAMDULILLAH. hmm.. :( im kind of speechless now. dun reali know wat to sae. just a thought of simphaty to him. aniwae i also had my silat fight on the previous sundae. n i lost it loh. so badly some more. ntah wat im doing in the GELANGGANG (competition ring) i was so slack that im wasn't myself. was it ment to be? im a sore loser? may b, and yet may b not aite! jst ned more of a practice n reali ned to buck up my stamina. well dont wanna update much, guess tiill here tats it. c ya next tyme. till then may peace be upon you all. ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

heyya..

2005-05-29T02:35:00.000+08:00

Hey ya.. to all my perminat setia, sorie eh da lame tak update my blog.. ntah mcm bz ader mcm malaz pon ader da.. so here goes abt my life now..

My life now--- been bz lately wit silat.. got two competition coming up this month. N my leg is like "ouch"… ader jek tau every year lau b4 comp mesti ader jek yng tak kene abt me. Sakit situ la, sakit sini la.. but this year im goin to seriously fight my wae in to the comp. Gonna show not to others but to myself that im gona make it to the top. Even if im in pain insyakallah.. Da two comp gonna be the IVP that’s ITE nye and PSP that’s perguruan nye.. both in the same month gonna really clash eh. Haiz. Nak pi relek holiday pon pikir dua kali tau.. ganggu keck.. but there this 1 guy im gona be watching out for. He’s in the same class category wit me in ITE and also in PSP. He is no doubt good but I must not be scared.. must do my best. Just as my master YODA told me "fear lead to anger, anger leads to hate & hate leads to suffering.." so MaY ThE FoRcE be wit me..

Family--- hmm.. not been understanding. All I do is wrong. My abg2 buat same salah tak kene bising pon.. ah!!!! da biase la kene mcm nie. Aku nie la black sheep of da family kan.. layan kan jek la org2 yng kat umah nie.. nak tu tak le, nak nie tak le, buat tu salah, buat nie salah.. haiz… k2 change topic.

Social life--- well I’ve make a new frenz.. They kind of irritating to some if u don’t really know them but lau da kenal ngan pompan2 jadian nie kan, kekek ah.. gerek layan dorang.. eventually im still straight and will always be eh.. get to know them from my best frend,(Fz) they are dancers, hip-hop. SDC & Bronz. (did I spell it correctly?) Well lately this both group had some dispute between the each other when they are supposed to be "kamcing”"with each other. And im stuck in the middle cause im close wit the both of them. So to sae im neutral. But think they had talk to each other n hope there’s not gonna be any grudges anymore. Peace to da world! Kat bronze yng rapat is Zuri!! Went to HrC wit him lots of tyme. He’s the person who I can talk to in the group. For SDC of course it’s hakim. Da so called head man of the group. Talk to him lots abt wat eva is goin around. Well wat else can I sae abt them? They are just fun to hang around wit. Lau dorang tak der the surrounding gonna be silence of boredom.

Luv life--- nah tink im too young la to be in this situation.. wanted it to be part of my life but it just seem to be impossible for me right now.. sorie la gerl I wanted badly to get to know u but its just seem complicated & hard for me wit dat chocolate "have a break, have a …" in the picture. And to "FZ" mah best flend, im hapi for him that’s he is in luv. We all can see that. Dun need to cover2 la. Hope it goes far aite.
Take care, May god bless u all.
ASSALAMMUALAIKUM..

mac richie trip

2005-05-01T09:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae went to mac Ritchie. Hiking dengan budak2 oac.. wahlau darm tired siak.. aniwae its kind of fun though u got to see a beautiful scenary.. theres some pic of the expedition I taken n im gonna update my photo blog later. Janji kol 8 kat mrt bishan. So I wake up at 7.45 a.m.. but proceed to mac richie at 10. reach macrithcie at around 10.45a.m. and end the exploration at around 3p.m. kite jalan ntah brape klick da. Want to go to the tree top tower bridge have to walk 5 kilo meter, then when we reach there its abt 2+ kilo meter walk back to the route we came from. Then to go back to the pit stop we have to walk another 5 kilo meter. Tats a total of12+ kilo meter sei? And I got to know that ahfatt was ambush by some thugz at town the other dae that was on fridae.eventualli I thought of heading town that dae but bcos of short of cash I decided not to. Ah fat’s ceeks swollen..kecian dier. Nak return but ahfatt dun know who they was. head home after the exhausting hiking trip.. Relek jap mandi then go out to town, faziz ader dance practice. After the dance prac went to find ghost near somerset. Mrt and its no joke, fun ofcourse but wen u experience something which u can’t explain then its kind of creepy. Alhamdullillah nothing serious happen to any of us. Just that hakim from SDC fell in a hole when walking in the middle of a dark open field.. funny la dier.

didi

2005-04-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

Halo all..
Sorie for not updating my blog for a long tyme to all my beloved fans (peminat setia) reading my blog. Aniwae my computer spoil la.. so cant update loh.. aniwae life noting much la.. been growing my muscke at tymes in the gym and at home simply carry weight .. wanted to get a new body wat.. next week my silat ITE gonna have a selection for the up coming .I.V.P. so gonna really train hard for it.. but not yet reali comform if I can go cos im goin to the mount kinabalu on the june and im scared that It would clash wit the tyming.. hope not la.. hope I can join both the trip and the competition. Exams is also around the corner.Lau fail kene repeat 6 month.
Now jek d- bar list is coming out n comform I m one of the list. My teacher da failed me siang2 bcoz of low attendance padal dating skola summer lambat dier mark zero for my attendance.. stupid @ss h*Le..

my life now

2005-04-21T22:32:00.000+08:00

aloha

2005-04-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

okies.. abt tode, morning went to werk wit my father. then went back home. sekejap jek. da kat umah was so bored. wanted to go out but tak der org nak kuar ngan kite =<> updating my blog at his houze btw..
my mum wanted to cut her hair n darkening.. ask me to contact wit me ex nana to cut for her. some more she want to high light mcm storm yng main cerite storm. biar betol?.. tats wat my ex told me went she kol me la.. been a long tyme never bum into each other eventually... tak tau asal aleh2 my mum nak potong rambut ngan dier lek eh.. she knew tat im wit nana was over but still wanted to met up wit her. well kind of miss her though.. too bad shes taken.. life a piece of big puzzle. ned to fix the puzzle together to get the real pix together. some puzzle are hard to find, some puzzle are found and fix in and some puzzle are loss at times.. thats how my life is.. may be she's in my puzzle n may be she's not. see la how.. thats all then take care ya all..

ok2 updating my blog la..

2005-04-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

wow.. never knew my blog ader perminat.. yeah2 i know people had been persuading me to update myblog.. bz la.. kadang2 malaz nak masok the net tau.. i try k to update everdae of my life here.. aniwae here gone me life todae...
Sentosa wit Cousinz... just recently went to sentosa, cousins outing.. so gerek.. take pic, skim, bum da beach n all.. its was fun .. alek sampai malam eh.. btw korang stop it eh didi suke ###### ni sumer.. jangan la buat malu aku. ahfatt was also there but to bad he did not swim as his injuries from ubin camp where by he fell from bicycle still not heel yet.. if u guys cousins nak ngok gambar kite i updated it in my friendster. blog lom lagik no tyme.. sorie..
Abt Skol.. da trying not to be late n skip clases. if i do my attendance will be goin down n im gona get a d bar for sure. lau d bar, da tak le skola.. tats wat my father said to me.. abt nani, da tak der pae eh ngan dier. lau terserempak, serempak la. lau bbual, bbual la.. give up la org katekan..
home n Friends... mum n dad. i dun understand them, they dun understand me.. sajak la tu.. tats y i ned sum one to tallk to.. but since im a hapilly single guy, i refer to my friends... nak harapkan ahfatt, nowadaes dier da mcm bunge. tegoh, cakap sikit pon tak le. amek hati. dun know what happen to him. well.. swit n simple, people change. so next stop is my friend faziz. i told more secret, problems n dark memories abt me to him then ahfatt where else ahfatt is my best buds. for me i c faziz as a person who can give me feedback if i told him my problems n hope he can keep a secret too.. ahfatt, sori to sae la eh dek ni slow sangat ah.. macam blur cork..hehehe...
my friends also kept saying to me im nowades banyak temenong.. i myself dun noe why.. pikir nyak sangat kot? le cepat tua tau.. so if u guys tend to saw me doing that pls stop me eh.. been trying to get more sleep n eating more. nak badan berisi sikit ah.. kudut jek mcm ni org pon sampai pangil papan.. jap lagi after writing this blog of mine im gonna eat my dinner n supper then drink my suppliment n then straight go to slip.. alamak, terluper mandi dulu lom tdo. alek dari tadi lom mandi2 pon hahaha ngopet. EEEEEEeee.. k la guest til here jek k pic if i got the tyme i update aite.. take care y all..

2005-03-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

im bak!! its da skol holidaes for me. 1 week jek. went to ubin. from urban to rural land back to urban. kene gigit nyamok tak le angkat siak. it was a 2 dae 1 nite camp but bcos im a helper for the comittee member of th O.A.C. of macpherson i hav to stay over nite 1 dae b4 da actual camp dae. alittle bit about da comitee ting. i was actualie appointed by Yad(the new president to be) of da O.A.C. of macpherson as a comitee in charge of logistic in front of the freshies that tyme we had a meting b4 da camp. but nw im confused. when that tyme after he appointed me, a few daes after we got a meeting (only comitee) in da O.A.C. room n sum1 ask Yad wat is da strength of da comitee n he replied "7 without including me and ahfatt". watz dat mean? im not a comitee.. im just a helper. so i consider myself as jst a helper for the comitee. so aniwae i played my part of that is appointed to me a get it done. alhamdulillah to me everythings goes fine. but ader jugak yng tak menjadi ah kat camp tu. we got caught up wit problems. i dun blame ani1 now. as i relised that the task that is given to each of us is not as easy as it think. as for the secetary. alot problem arose. all i can sae to u gerl is that pls be patient to the campers. treat them as ur frens. not sum1 one level lower then u jst bcos u are a commitee member. i see n i review everything abt u. and sori to sae that most of it is negative. the things that is appointed to u are ur responsibility. u are to be blame if anithing goes wrong n u can't blame others. but if u think that its too hard for u n u can't keep up, ask other comitee to help. im sure every1 of us are willing to help wit opens arms. we are a family. not enemy. peace aite to everyone.

ok abt the camp now. tiring of course. bedok comitee n camper merge wit us. wat they review to us is that the camp is fine except the part on camp fire. we got sum mis-understanding goes on. "bapak" is not there im not sure why. may b got sum things on so he can't make it. but for me that is not a good sign. we ned atlest 1 higher post then ani comitee to b incharge.. mcm pasal 1 budak bedok nie, her parents did not believe that we are helding a camp there. heard her parents called up the school n stuff. if there is a teacher incharge atlest the parents cam tok to him... to me the camp is not reali organize. ned to buckup ourself. hey this is our first tyme helding a camp outdoor for the new comitee. theres still a lot more to learn. n i want to sae thanz to the comitee advisories(yan,lan,mok,shaz e.t.c) from our previous comitee member to be there for us. we still ned ur advise. we are learning..

As for this gerl, im sori to sae but i dun tink we are meant to be. i jst can't stand ur altitude. the wae u act n behave towards people. haiyah dunnoe la wat to how u act.. u should know la for ur self. i know i declare we are jst normal frens now at the nite walk but for me its better not to know u then to be normal frenz. lau kite maseh jadi kawan, i look at u, da wae u react to other people i would feeel pain. "mate merah" for wat? cos wen we are still frens, that heart for u will still be there. but i dun want it to b lyke that. i wanna stop everything. i had enough pain alreadi from u. peoples from outside can see for themself the wae u treat other people. they kept asking me " eh ko tak rase pape ke dier perangai mcm tu?" i dun noe wat to ans. rase malu, marah kecik hati.. so its better for me jst to act as if i dun know u. so u can do wat eva u wanna do i won't feel ani ting bcos i don know u. am i right? im sori for all the bad things i done to u.. hope u are hapi wit hu eva it is.. gd bye.22.03.2005

life get farked tup

2005-03-14T08:52:00.000+08:00

my life now get frked tup. my parents dun trust me in aniting animore. i hav to stop all my activities except silat perguruan jek. aper merepek jst bcos i can't take care of my anak sedare yesterdae. kene tumbok belasah sampai my jaw sakit when i open my mouth nk mkn.. i hav to suffer wat 4 da shit he did. bodoh sia.

for u "baby gerl" i reali hope everything is ok. even though i'm wit (u know who) i can't stop thinking of wat gona happen to u n how u are coping wit ur life n stress nw. hope everyting is ok. msg me aite.

my life nw

2005-02-20T18:06:00.000+08:00

hidop didee skrng.. da "lame" siak.. been a long tyme did not bum to the beach again, did not come down for my silat training, did not head down to da gym angkat besi... e.c.t. hmm.. y? i myself dun noe y. bz giler wit other things which cant be explain.. skol life? geting da hang of it a little bit, still ader jugak malas nye nk pi skola. tak pi kene d- bar. cant take my exam and im gonna waste my 6 month in skol n money? neh that's not gonna be me. its been only 2 month in skol n i alreadi getting to know alots of frens, lebih nyak gerls then guys.. hahahaha.. amalina, farhana, diana-d, diana cina, nani(da lame kenalan tapi getting more closer nw), and so on... yesterdae was chingay at orchard rd. went to see it. it was suppose to celebrate abt the ten dae of chinese new year gitu but ader jugak melayu yng perform per, wicked aura, dancer, harley davidsons motor crew.. other religion also play a part of this chingay bcos to get good relationship between different races.. abe malam went to watch constatine wit my skol mates, nani, azmi her friend n ela. shiok sia cerite. terperanjat sikit pon ader ah, more better then hide n seek. then sumtime on wit ela's brather n she have to go home first. azmi teman dier alek. so its left wit me n nani jek dua org. so we see da movie until the end at abt 11.50p.m. last train sampai jr east jek. then in da train nani terlentok2 tdo so i lend her my shoulder to lean n rest. sampai jr east, my brather pick me up and send nani home first aru alek. but he lyke bingit gitu, aniwae dier da tdo abe i wake him up jst to pick me back home. so sorie bro. dun mean to disturd ya. but i got no choice n no bucks to take taxi.. sorie k. and it was the best tyme i had for a long tyme bab dapat berkepit wit a gerl lyke my own gerl.. aniwae we are jst frenz.. k thats all keep in touch aite..

lalala...

2005-02-20T18:01:00.000+08:00

GoOd aDvicE!

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go ! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives is hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt at all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. You can not finish the book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to risk rejections, to love is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing ! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true love ; fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and ever be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain. Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful image into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It sould inspire you and give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people many giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow. Loving someone means giving him or her the freedom to find his or her way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love coz every time we do, we get hurt, then I figure that's why it's called falling in love. When you decide to love, allow it to grow. When you promise to love, refuse to let it die.

bak to skol

2005-01-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

hey, it back to skol tyme for me... holidaes are over. skola nothimng much jst the same jek.. keje pon da kene pecat. hahhaha. very funny. saturdae til yesterdae sundae went to ecp. my kakak sedare ader bdae pit saner. i went wit my frenz n cousins all there. hav fun there but the most fun n memorial part is in that sundae morning, wanna noe wat? i was sleeping at that tyme, then my frend wake me up n told me that my father skim b4 i wake up. i tot they was kidding cos at the tyme i was awake my father was swiming around kat laut. then i change into my board short n went to skim. then bile da penat i jst put my board near a tree there n i went to get sumting to eat, baru la da words that came from my friends mouth was showing that it was true. my father pick up my board n started to skim. hahaha n he can reali glide i tell u! baru brape minute tak der org ajak da pandai siak... ah ngok, saper2 yng bace nie, korang nye bapak skim tak? ah bapak aku skim! hahaha... bange tau.. susah datang nye. Umur da meningkat pon tak kisah.

wat a dae todae

2005-01-03T04:08:00.000+08:00

HEY, wat a dae todae i had, after werk went back home. nak pi "BATU KERAS" (if u translate it in english u would know la where) tapi takder cent. pi cari mcm nak mati pinjam org. kol hu eva i can jst to go there coz my best friend is alreadi there n my cousin is also there. abeh bile da dpt teroz cepat2 siap n kuar. then when i reach the place, i saw (terserempak) my abg sedare jauh. he paid for my cover charge, i was lyke tak per la didi beli sendiri then he insist on paying for me then ok la i accept tha offer. then kat saner enjoy la mcm biase. after everything finish, i got to know the song title i been finding all this while. hahaha padahal senang nak cari sumer tak tau mcm maner care dier aje. then bile alek i went to my sedare. she was tipsy alreadi. so i felt lyke tak sedap hati jst to leave her alone so went to her to jst take care of her la since im there. then alek ngan kawan dier which i saw twice at town alreadi wit my sedare. then we take da same cab home. da nak sampai umah i tot of paying half of the fare but he also insist on paying for me. eh nasib aku la niari. masok sedare bayar kan. n alek sedare nye kawan pon bayar kan. thanz ah guys for the 'blanje'. jase baik mu akan ku ingat ah. reali thanz to my abg sedare yng jauh tu n thanz to my cousinz frend. well time now is 4.2o a.m. tyme for me to go to sleep. take care all and hapi new year may all ur wishes for this year came thru n may this year be a hapi year for all of u hu are reading this. n i also would like to send my hearts to the victim of the tsunami. its reali a sad thing to come across. alhamdulillah im still able to write this blog. may god bless their soul insyakallah.

didi da penat la..

2004-12-07T01:17:00.000+08:00

been werking for 2daes alreadi. nak kate penat memang ah. stand up for hours non-stop. werk as banquet la wat do u expect.. mesti la kene berdiri. dudok pon stakat 5 min. lari saner, lari sini. angat tu dulang mcm nk jatoh, mengigil.. stil dunno how to take order. ahak, slalu bile part customer nk amek order, i ask other cerlic. stil fresh mah. can't blame me wat. but i try la to take order ngah blajar la nie. sampai bile nk suroh org amek kan, kn? nw i lost my baby gerl tat dae. she told me not to interfear in her life animore. not even go in to her blog. hmm.. then da gerl of my dreamz also gone. she's into a party life, enjoy jek. n left me tinking n wondering, care n concern towards her but get nothing back in return. she still sae she's neutral towards me. ai bile aku nk tepok sebelah tanggan? da, didi da penat nk menunggu & di main2kan. jst let it b la kn. tink im gonna change my hp into line soon. nt wanting people disturbing me animore giving me nonsence tat they miz me la, stil hav da heart 4 me la all this shit. if u reali want to find me u gonna search thru thick n thin to find me, & it's not tat hard wat. got my hm no. then jst give me a buzz a @ hm tu pon lau im @ hm la coz now werking mah n gonna be back usuallly @ 12 mid-nite. pandai2 la cari. k la nie bukan tyme pasrah. didi skrng da relek. tyme to tink abt wheather im gonna be studying in ite or jst proceed to N.S. or change in ITE course. azam untok 2005. hehehe..

didi skrng

2004-12-02T19:29:00.000+08:00

aloha... so wats my life hav been doin lately? last sat went to sentosa for da roxy jam. overnite there.nak kate boring pon ader nak kate enjoy pon ok2 la. at first the roxy jam was so farking boring sei,but went we all got the tag to go in n bushmen was playing baru ah gerek.the foam party was jst 50% ok for me sampai lagu techno smoke machine pon keluar!!! haiz.. me teroz stop n jst look around those mat2 joget techno.but kind of style la they dance tat wae. but the whole dae tat special sum1 i had in my mind did not msg nor kol me wen i alreadi told her to return my kol n msg.may b she's too bz la goin jln raye for the whole dae.. then the next dae lak go to hrc & its the last dae for bushmen playing there. aww..too bad. next stop gonna be @ zombie on weds. got into a small fight there @ hrc wit this bisu guy whom actualli is my flend.lagi nak bbual ngan die pon tak tau mcm ner nak settle things out. talk also by sms.ahak.. funny ah.. but the bad thing happen on that dae was wen got to know tat special sum1 of mine whom had not been drinking for more then a month n started drinking again on tat dae. nt sure y la.. did i do aniting wrong that she saw n fed up n drank again? but i was reali piss off bcos of that.she is still under recovery of her urine n kidney failure. lagi lau she continue drinking, she gonna get a bad result for her next check up. then on the mondae pon die return to hrc for the kumars nite. n drank again when i told her try nt to for the better of her health. i knoe nw im jst a nobody to her but i reali n sincerly care for her. but may b jst may b she did nt see it ah. n now the wae she msg me alreadi nt as usual. i mean we use to msg in a loving matter but nw da msg mcm nak tak nak, kau aku, senang ckp da mcm bukan dlm loving state lagi ah. y?y?y?wat did i do to make u treat me this wae? nw since my feeling was depress bcos i was too over into her, her feeling towards me was jst neutral. which i felt lyke i was shiok sendiri.so i nw back out from her life. let her tyme alone wit her life. on tuesdae, went to tat special gal shop cos she need a model for her exam to perm her hair n my adek sedare n my mom was da model. so i jst came there to accompany her n my mom. mama was her model for darkening. but when i went to the shop wit her i didnt sae a word to her since we met up in the train to go there til we reach there. cos i was still up set abt she still drinking when i told her nt to da dae b4 at kumars nite. da ampai baru starts bbual sikit. went to town jst chilling around, after dat then went hm. then jst now lak kebutulan saw her again when i was goin to sentosa. she was late forher werk. suppose to b at werkplace by 12 noon but she was at the train station at 12 noon. i was "eh? wat tyme alreadi n she had nt went to werk yet?" but issit fate tat i saw her again? i was feeling rather happi tat i saw her by fate in the train but in other, i was feeling moody. did nt talk to her much, jst listen to my mp3 n dun even look at her. my friend whom was wit me was the 1 who talkto her. bile da nk jln pon stakt kasi hi 5 aje teroz jln. nt even look back to her. am i wrong to do that? cos eventuali she seems lyke she ned tyme for herslf so i give ah. dun wanna show ani feelings to her animore except jst a merely friend. so i jst show that im jst a nobody to u. u can b n do wat eva u wanna b nw witout me interfering ur life.. but reali deep in my heart i m missing the wae we was b4 n im still in luv wit u!!

dsumer nak abez

2004-11-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

ok2, zaman raye pon da nak abez for me. da tak der mood nk ber-raye. zaman skola pon da nak abes. skrang da nak zaman keje lak. no werk no money, no life. bcos lau i dun werk, i cannot go out. cos i don't hav da money to go out. nak enjoy pon mcm ner? maseh mude mah, mesti la kene enjoy. bab org kate ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST WHILE U ARE STILL YOUNG. nk cari keje tak tau kat ner. dpt kat gurame but i now already got doubt abt werking there. not bcos its gonna be too hard ke, too bored ke, pay too little ke. but the actual reason for having this concious (if i spell it correctly la, maklum la org bukan nye pandai type tapi pandai ckp. ahak.) was bcos it was too near to my home. its lyke werking in ur home ground. nanti jln2 dekat saner da mcm muke poster lak. "eh nie budak gurame kan" EEEeeee tak nak ah mcm tu. so im finding keje yng jauh cikit ah from my home ground. lau saper2 ader keje for me do drop me a tag eh. now lak my life was lyke 1 big question mark. tak tau nak buat per. tak tau nak pilih yng ner. tak tau, tak tau, tak tau. sumernye tak tau ah. recently i jst met up wit my long lost ex. broke up wit her wen i was in sec4. tu pn bile maseh adek2.. skrng dier da lain giler. sumer nye tukar. apperiance, perangai. tapi tetap kecik moleh org nye ahak.. if i were to met up wit her coinsidently not once but trice i tink does that mean ader jodoh? hahahaha. first tyme saw her at twn, hereen. abeh kat hrc, tak tau lak yang dier da lame pi saner padahal slalu pi tak nampak dier, then lak kat westmall, she was heading hm n i was goin there window shopping wit my kakak keje n frens, then kat sentosa, pagi2 pi skim aleh2 terserempak dier kat cofee shop habour front. dier pon pi sentosa sun tan. tak ke mcm somting yng bring us to met up each other? padahal tak plan pon la.. but.. as i sae im nt sure wat to do wit my life. dun noe hu to pick, tak tau pape la senang katekan. anywae even if we hav sumting in store for both of us, i jst wanna let the course of life take its toll. let it b naturaly come to my life. biar setia dengan 1 dari kene derita lagi..

raye da nk dekat!!!

2004-11-05T19:40:00.000+08:00

Yea2 HARI RAYA da nak dekat.. ah bagi yng insan2 yng tak puase tu dengar ah nie takbir raye biar kene bang kat telinger ahahak..

2004-11-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

Love are very complicated! u dun know wat u realli wan from ur partner even when ur partner is merely perfect for u or even worst not even suit 4 U. lyke for me i had been this shit lately. Throw away the 1 i had n yet she's jst perfectly ok.(considered by some) Do u ever had the feeling dat the person u wan 2 b ur partner couldn't b n yet other person who want to b ur partner n u reject? that's wat i felt n i did. jst dunno y. u ar jst not meant to b wit me. i can't force my-self to love a person if i realie dun love tat sum1. but when i did this to some 1 i get that in returned. Just as the phrase" wat goes around comes around" i mean the wae i treat the person that "i jst simply dun wat u" wae comes back to me when i tried to befrend wit a friend n she simply saes " we are jst not to b together." then i realise that i was to blame my self for being the person i was. so to love somebody u have to accept the wae they are. dun b too picky on finding one thats is perfect cos NObody is perfect! OR U WILL HAVE A HARD TYME FINDING ONE! haiz.. aniwae it takes tyme ah. sumdae every one of us will get their perfect partner n b a perfect partner. it jst takes tyme..

da lepas tu da lepas ah...

2004-10-31T13:53:00.000+08:00

hello guys.... mah fellow readers.. bagi seseorang itu yng sudah pergi dari hidop ku, ku ingin ckp "BERAMBOS AH" da pergi tu buat hal pergi eh. jng nk uat2 jadi kawan lak. tu bukan care didee. Da LEPAS tu makne nye aku tak kenal kau. paham!? so dun even ting of messaging me . wasting ur 5 cents on msging je.. Da brape lame eh kite da puase? Esok malam lailatulqadar. Bagi org yng beribadah pada mlm itu, pahalanya adalah lebih dari org yng beribadah seturut satu tahun. Tats wat i know la. so bagi umat2 islam yng berada di luar sana kalau boleh pergi la beribadat pada malam ini. 1 nov, 3 nov, 5 nov. out of this three nites, 1 of it is the real malam lailatulqadar. so peace out. Mah next post gonna be abt HARI RAYA PUASE!!! da tak sabar sei..

da puase!!!

2004-10-17T07:12:00.000+08:00

Da mASok bulan ramADhan pon.. mcm tAk caye gITu eh capet da mASok bULAn puase.. tAU2 da raye, daPAt duit raye!!! ahak.. Per dA beSAr sangat ke kITe nie tak le dpt duit raye? lom lAGik keje mah... lagi pon uMUR baru je 19. MACEH kecik lagik taU. My b-Dae pOn da naK dEkat. This TuesDAE.. BuKe LuaR ah NampaK nyE. naK pi BazAr KaT geyLang Nie.BUt bCoz mE noT WerKing, No FinanCE tAk pI la Selagi TAk DeR cEnt.. Eh deNGAr2 BuLan PuaSE Nie LaraNg KiTe MakAn N MinuM, Abeh KirE kan Rokok Le iSap La. ManDI Laut PoN le, Pi ClUbbIng, CuCi Mate Kat ToWn Or Da BeaCh..ahak.. (JanGan EH!)PaDe Yng SeTan2 di LuaR sItu TolOng eh BerPuase Pade BulaN niE.. Jst For 1 monTH jE mAh..tak kAn Tak lE takE it? (CeH2 KaN Abg UstAz dA b-bUal...) No More HRC foR thiS monTH! No MOrE doIn StuPid StuFF! No MoRE Heavy SmoKing! Alah sEnanG kaTe paPe yng Tak PatOt DI buaT PadE BuLan Yng MULIA iNi janGan Di Buat jE eh... Respect RamadhAn. LaU LapaR SaNgat Nk mKn, Jng DePan2 Org. SembuNyik Lah.LaM bileK ke, ToiLet kE? ("nIe ajAr Nie Da MemaNG buaT eH?") hahaha.. k la sAMPai sini Je Ah.

Instructor macan abg Din telah kembali ke rahmatullah

2004-10-01T18:44:00.000+08:00

Assalamulaikum semua. hari ini hari yang amat sedih untok kumpulan seni silat macan pasrah. our beloved instructor died yesterdae morning. tadi pagi baru di kebumikan. hanya kenangan manis ku simpan dan tiada kenangan pahit ku dendam dalam kenangan. @ first i can't accept the fact that he is gone bab kite tak nampak yng die sakit. when i received the news i was shock n can't believe my ears. he was still young and don't have any sickness except his leg and not that i know of. but it shouldn't end this wae. Y?Y?Y?.. He is the open minded instructor. The last time i saw him was when we had the eat out together at Norlin in jurong. There i stil remember when i wanted to smoke at the back as to show respect not to smoke infront of the instructors at that time. then Abg din ask where im goin & i told him i wanted to go smoke then he told me to sit down. "Ape nie nk malu2 lak? duduk je sini." then some more he can hulor me 1 stick. haiz.. tak le luper kan. he may not be in training mostly but those moment i was wit him was always a sweet memories. i also remember when the tyme we were at camp silat 2004 at punggol. he was the physical instructor yng ckp nk tekan kite terok2 but did not cos deep in his heart i know he tak sanggup buat demikian terhadap anak murid nye. N not to forget he was the 1 yng KING saboh bile kite sumer tdo. ingat tak? those fun tymes. pic updated i took from the macan website in my blog.
Ya ALLAH almighty, bless his soul & reserved a place for him in the heaven, insyak'allah.

hey there people!!!

2004-09-23T03:17:00.000+08:00

Been busy for quite a while.. taking up new thing. Skim boarding. i may not know to skim but atleast i try. practice make perfect n so i bought myself a board n i design it already. you can see the pic in my pic blog. sekarang kulit pon da makin gelap padahal dulu takot nak pi sintan takot gelap. then when i pi camp organised by my skol then ngok kulit makin gelap. so decided "kulit da gelap pon, so kasi lebih tan ah pi sentosa tanning n skim boarding ..." people may say i merepak main skim board n all stuff of shit but atleast i just tried new thing in my life. so say la wat ya wanna say aku tak kisah... yang aku tau aku enjoy diri aku...

2004-09-05T19:32:00.000+08:00

TO you my baby gerl! I love u and people make mistakes. So u did and i did. This is wat i gonna sae to u, i love u for the truth and sincererity. If ever i was played by u, im not gonna give another thought nor i gonna sae tat im gonna leave u. Silence will come by, & u will noe went im gone. Hope this love is true n if ever we were apart, all i gonna sae is tat wat ever i gave to you is the best dat i could give n tats just the wae it is for me. If there's somethings that is "kurang terhadap diri i" im sorie. I am hu i am. Nobody can change tat. It's all up to u to accept me the way i m now n forever. Dear i love u still.

2004-09-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

Todae is the shities dae of my life.. sumer nye problems. friends,gal, family!!!! fark ah to you all making my life lyke shit. btw my pic is not to be publish animore cos some one has abuse it and taking my pic for themself. so sorie to u all hu wan to see my pic. is no more already. da ah malaz ah nak tulis banyak2. life are meant to be stressful but not lyke tis siak....

2004-08-24T00:05:00.001+08:00

wahlau asik upgrading my blog n pic aje got no tyme for my post.. hehehe. Aniwae today me got a phototaking session for the Mr n Miss Macpherson. Just try out on this thing. Well to comment abt the photo taking session just now was bored. Truly deep inside me i know im not gonna be the one. Cos if im tat good, someone will be better then me. That's wat i believe. N i believe this friend of mine gonna win. His pose was so Sachok tat i myself was darmed jealous of him. Nah, aniwae his picture is in my pic blog. updated. so u can see it for urself if he's good or not. He is the 1 in red cap. Then after the photo taking session i went to the airport to send jali my silat instructor to sydney. He is gonna migrate there. There's also photo of us in my pic blog. Kite di sini Berdoa untuk keselamatan perjalanan anda ke semberang tambak. Insyak'allah.

WENT FOR HOLIDAYS

2004-08-10T03:45:00.000+08:00

Three days not in singapore. went to batam wit my family n frens. stayed on houses that is build on the sea. it was fun & a good experience to be in. learn how to catch fish n such. but the toilet was a problem. theres no sewage system. the only way for u to do your thing in the toilet was to shit right through the sea. the toilet does not hav any toilet bowl. only a hole in the toilet for the shit to just fall on the sea. Evidence kuat siol kalau nak berak!!! tau2 nampak ur shit floating in the sea. EEeeee.... so disgusting.
niwae tat was the only negative thing there. others was gd. Food, cloths, rokok was cheap. & the hospitality of the people living the of 100% fantastic. all thanz to my uncle to bring me there.. then went back home to singapore just in tyme to met my frens to watch the fire works @ marina. Happy birthday singapore...

da lame tak masok

2004-08-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

haloos... long time never blog liau... now that i've done new thing to my blog hope u guys like it ya.. the theme now is reggae.. red,yellow and green colour is tha main colour. then i make a new blog too. reggae style too. it tooks me abt 6 whole long hours non stop to edit my blogs n post. darm tired but for a good cause!!! thats right! to upgrade me blogs. since me at home, sick, MC for two days might as well i did something better to do right? see now what i've done.. can;t eve belive tat i did it siak... k then tats all folks. too tired to write animore. do msg me if ya all free aight.. do pray for me to get well soon too..hehehehehe....

2004-06-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

hey there..

guess wat. i just read my email and i got this horoscope abt me. and it's darmm real! i was shock.This is wat it wrote....

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
{Disturbing memories come back to the surface, reminding you of events and obligations that you'd rather forget. Unresolved issues won't go away until you make at least a sincere gesture toward fixing them. It's all too easy to push things aside. You've done it before and gained yourself a little breathing space. But unless you deal with these disruptions one last time, you obliterate the chances of finishing anything new that you might start. Why go there again? Surely the future is more interesting than the past. For once, it would be refreshing to not always know the answer.}
well aniwae i was kept on thinking abt my ex gerl. can't forget abt her and stuff. easy for my friends to say but hard to do. leave her out of my mind i mean. kept on wanting to called her up, met up where else she is with her new guy. well i'm trying to do my best to follow my horoscope. let it be wat it suppose to be.

jst wanna share some thought abt ma frendz

2004-05-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

my frend sume da lame tak jumpe. they been bz wit their luv life n im bz wit my werking life. but not for long i will been in skol n gonna stop my werk. baru2 nie banyak my frenz share to me abt their luv life problems. ape nie? life are meant to b enjoy not pening kepale pasal relationship. dengar pasal sumer pon mcm samer je. my frend nie kwn keje. a gal. guy die bastard her played behind her back. then she got to noe that the was not the first 1, padahal da banyak. n tat guy treat her lyke shit. nak pakai. tak nak tolak tepi. ape sampah pe. da gian cari die. ade gal lain tolak tepi. then tiz fren of mine boleh ye kan & even side him ckp "nah, he is jst streez abt me. but deep in heart i know he love me" tats her words i maseh ingat lagi. stupid kan? kau da kene bastard giler babi mcm gitu. die stakat pakai kau abeh kau maseh nak ngan die? then tiz guy frend of mine pulak samer. die ckp die da tak syg her gal tapi maseh ngan die. her gal kuar ngan her guy frenz then he ok kan aje.tu pon ckp je guy fren tapi pelok2, hold hands n even a gd bye kiss mouth to mouth! nie kwn? abeh tu gal lak mintak2 die duit la, blanje la. buy her thingz. even wen she know tat my frend nie is under financial difficulty families. eh ingat bapak kwn aku nie cap duit pe!? hate her for treating my frend lyke tiz. my frend (yan) pon bodoh. yng kau nak hegeh2 lagi ngan die buat pe? eh plz la. if you guys know tat u don't LOVE ur partners no more then don't force ur self to LOVE them! nie la korang nak fall in luv tapi tak tahu mcm maner yng betol, yng maner yng salah.

i know u dun wan to leave ur partner b coz u guy gonna feel guilty but regret also at the same time.this couples scared tat later on they gonna regret leaving their luv 1. tapi they gonna regret more later on. if u ar not meant to b. then jst face the fact! there are many fishes in the sea. cinta nie pon mcm pancing ikan. kene pandai pancing je n kene la tahan. sabar. mcm pancing ikan betol. go fishing for hours and end up got only few fish n not the standard u wanted. dun give up. pelan2 kayoh lamer2 satu hari datang la yng baik2. mane la tau ikan duyong lak yng dtng. better then the 1 u have right now. dare ur self to live on wit ur life. dun stuck there and feel sory for ur self coz it wont do u any gd. do u harm ade la.

come on guys.. living as a single bukan nye boring sangat where else lagi gerek ader ah. u can go out to anywhere and do wat eva u wanna do wit-out people asking bile nak alek la. tak le pi la. kan pening. single enjoy. ader rindu jugak the action of being wit ur partner but tahan je la. satu hari mesti the right 1 will come to u. follow wat ur heart says not wat ur brain says.

plz guys nak bercinta tu tak salah. tapi kene la pandai! right now just relax. enjoy. try to find some activity wit ur frends to cover up u strezz. and u make ur own decision. jng dengar org ckp, dengar hati korang sendiri pe die ckp. k la if im fre i will drop by to give ya points again aight. now da penat la. any things drop me a message @ me FLOBBER CHATTER k. peace out.

ok this is to you baby gerl (LiL princess)

2004-05-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

OK, THIS IS TO YOU BABY GERL (LIL PRINCESS)
firstly, memang tak salah nak berkawan. tapi pelek lak. asal tibe2? bab u are not attach now? hey i nie pe? sampah? nak, amek, simpan. tak nak, buang. u eh.. haizz.. dunno lah. lagi, i teroz terang dengan u pe tat i have to take things @ a slower pace. i was just being ditch. so i ned time to build my confident on loving another gerl back. its better that way i see things. so that i know wheather she is right for me or not. the good type or not. kalau gairah2 nak getting into relationship ader pe? kite lom kenal lebih rapat pon. tats y i dont dare to do anything to you. even not a kiss gd bye. bcos i scared tat u would think that im over doing it. jst get to know you & would do such things. lagi i cant belive it that you would do such thing behind me. u tat tyme bile kite pi bugis u sae u gonna kol me @ nite, then when i called ur hm u were on line with another guy! tats called bastard. play gerl. & now u wanna get back on me? dunno know la. what i know it is a stupid thing to do ah. but ofcourse i kind of mis ya a Little bit. thats doesn't cause me much pain aniwae except the part yah on the line with someone else n suddenly u are attach did cause me a Whole lots of pain! so nak jadi kawan? ok. it doesn't hurt to have more friends aniwae since im still free as a bird lyke usual... u got my nombor right? pandai2 ah cari me k. gonna slep already liow. da malam nie. eh, pagi ah. TIME:1.45 a.m.

the day of enjoyment for me.

2004-04-25T02:07:00.000+08:00

hey ya all.. i just went back nie. now is 1.45 a.m.so tiring but yet enjoy myself, so no regret feeling tired. Today is saturday, the day im not werking. off day so call. i wake up early, bath, then started to clean up my room, then the other part of the house. i told my mother that im going out today from last week. she told me to clean up b4 i go out & so i did. my brothers are all sleeping still when i was cleaning n jst wake up when i was about to go out @ abt 3+p.m. went to jurong eat swimming compex dengan kwn2 keje. it was fun. diana pakai bikini. fuyoh!!! tak bleh tahan ah.. sumer pink. aniwae diana is my werking friend, & shes 24 now & got a guy already getting married nxt year. so dunt get it wrong. im just a friend to her as she leave near by to me & always go & came back from werk together. Ah... came back to me story, i never tought that it would be alot of us goin. Bat chu, Diana, Kak ros, two of her daughter, kak lin, husband, also two of her daughter, Tay, Nan hua & Hua yi. eh banyak eh 12 people goin siak.. hehehe.. nie baru pi jr est. lom lagik sentosa. comform gerek nye. lagik2 kalau over nite. but not sure when goin ah. next week sat nak pi barbeque kat umah kak Sopia (also kwn keje) then the next following week nye sat pi kuala lumpur. haiyah.. every week keluar2. balek malam2 lak tu. parents dunt realie scold me for goin hm late for as long im with a gd company. ok ah kwn2 keje pon tua2. tak der buat pape mepek. yng muda stakat diana je. enjoy jugak pe kuar ngan dorang. tua2 tapi young @ heart. k la da malam nie. got to let me body regenerate. so write again nxt tyme if im free. take care yah all..

2004-04-22T23:50:00.000+08:00

da lame siak tak masok... me bz. keje... sori if thoose who is finding me tak dpt eh. ani wae life is great. even without any chicks by my side. just came back from malaysia. tdo saner for 1 day. may be next 2 week im gonna be going to kL pulak. gonna enjoy my life while i still can. dad ask me to stop smoking. he pulak tak understand. mum did not get her hand on this, she just kept quiet. dad ckp im still young & i can stop easily.. WAT? maner ader kire tua muda? mepek kan.. haiz... dunno how to explain to him animore. tats it for now. nite to u all. & for tat some1 who called me & said u jst wanna check out who am i, jgn nak mepek ah eh. nampak sah kau tau nombor aku lagi nak step tak tahu. aku pon da tak heran ah ngan kau. there's plenty out there with better heart n more gd looking daripada kau. peh mampoz ah lu..

kepada tiada akan ku percaya selainkan diri ku sahaja.

2004-04-03T01:39:00.000+08:00

A shout out to ya girl.
Damn hell im living in a misery,
why are you doing this to me?
You told me you gonna call me at night,
but you are on the phone with someone else isn't that right?
I know i'm just a nobody & i can't stop you from what you do,
but stop playing with people's heart & get this que.
When you are with someone, stick to him like glue,
don't make me end up being heart broken by you.
If you think your love for him is true,
just leave me alone and forget about being my boo.(girl)
If you think you don't love me no more,
just forgot about me & walk out of my door.
You are everything to me cause you are my dream girl,
but i had suffered enough pain by love in this world.

This is for you if you know who you are.

2004-03-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

Assalamulaikum, peace upon you,
a greetings to show respect to whom i gonna talk to.
Firstly first i wanna say,
this poem is for that special girl who took my heart away.
I was in love with you ever since i saw you the first day,
you were not in to me before but i do hope you are here to stay.
So you declare single now and waiting for your baby boy you say,
if only i could be that special someone and be with you day by day.
I knew it's kind of weird asking you this since we just got to know each other,
but you are the only one in my heart right now and im not interested to find another.
I hope you give me this chance to show my true love for you,
so the question now is would you be my BOO?
the answer may not be a yes or a no,
dun rush for the answer and just take it slow.

You know who u are if u are reading this...

2004-03-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

At first i thought i could not fall in fall wit you,
but as time passes by i am stuck & addicted to you.
The first time i lay my eyes on you,
i said to myself "omigosh you are too good to be true".
But sadly to say by appearences you are of my dream,
but by your alttitude toward me i find you quite mean.
The first few days we get to know each other,
you act as if we will be for ever,
but as time pass by you act as if i am ought to find another.
We used to talk on the phone even if you are busy or not,
now you don't kol me as wat you used to as there's someone else you got.
You even dare to say there's someone else getting to know you & going back home together,
my heart felt like a sharp torn poked me deep down under.
And you keep on saying you gonna call me back again & again,
which you are actually on the phone with another guy leaving me in pain,
end up it's just a word & it kept me waiting like insane.
so "HOLD UP" i said. why should i searh for you like crazy.
let it be you the one to search instead of me...
So right now i'm gonna just be myself and keep it down low,
for i don't wanna crack my head but just follow with the flow.
May god show me the true love i ought to receive,
rather then i be a nutty and being deceive.

wanna see my baby pic? jst click here.

2004-03-28T20:04:00.000+08:00

poem i make on my own

2004-03-28T18:39:00.000+08:00

PUTRI CINTA,
SEORANG INSAN YANGKU ANGGAP SEBAGAI PERMATA.
WAJAHNYA YANG INDAH PENUH DENGAN CAHAYA,
TELAHKU JATUH CINTA DENGANYA PADA PANDANGAN PERTAMA.

TETAPI DENGAN TIDAK SADARKU TELAH BUAT SESUATU KESALAHAN,
YANG AKHIRNYA MENJADI SEBUAH ALASAN,
UNTUK DIA MENINGGALKANKU KESEORANGAN.

ALANGKAH NASIBKU CINTA ITU HANYA BUAT SEMENTARA,
DENGAN TIBA-TIBA DIA PERGI TANPA BERKATA.
TELAHKU CUBA UNTUK MENTENANGKAN HATINYA.
TETAPI ITULAH PERMINTAANNYA, CINTA TIDAK BOLEH DIPAKSA.

KINIKU HANYA SEORANG INSAN BIASA YANG DIGELARKAN "KAWAN".
DAN AKU HARUS MENERIMA KENYATAAN BAHAWA IMPIAN YANG KITA INGINKAN,
UNTUK KITA BERSAMA HANYALAH SEKADAR KHAYALAN.

WALAU BAGAIMANA PERIT DAN PAHITNYA HATIKU BERASA,
AKAN KU SIMPAN KENANGAN MANIS KITA BUAT SELAMANYA.
INGIN KU SAMPAIKAN AKHIR KATA,
KU MASIH SAYANGKAN MU OH PUTRI CINTA,
SELAMAT TINGGAL WAHAI PERMATA.