my life now

having me to express my feelings in this blog doesnt meke me any wiser but jst make me feel a lil bit relief.. time for me to move on, a new chapter, new life, new begining for me to start a new me. its hard for me to have u in my life, kept quarelling, having me to let you be wit the 1 that u call jst a friend where everyones knows its nt and u jst cant deny it urself except giving reasons to people u that u guys are. its the obvious that two single person spending time together always arent jst a frends. but having you out of my life is much harder then having you in my life. everynite before i shut my self down to go to my dreamland i would have your face haunting me in my minds.. why cant it stop haunting me? i already knew abt the two of you a long time ago, right before i was enlisted to national service and i still jst let it be till the very end of our ralationship to reliase that u hve truely no feeling for me.. tats my flaws in being in a relationship. may b i was jst trying to show me mom tat what she said is not true but it is. quote, "didee, u kept having a girlfriend and end up breaking after every 6 mnth, so is she gona be the true one?" well i said yes to her and i try to show her tat it would be my last gerl but end up my mom is right after all. atleast now that she knew tat we are no longer together at last. its not easy for me to convey to her but i had no other choice but to tell her the truth. so now im living my life hapily being wit friends and cousins to spent my free time with. no used linger around someone who doesnt have any benefit at all for me. well so now since u had made up your choice to still linger wit that friend of yours, theres no other means for me to stay n kept having useless hope but to say gd bye and may you be happy of ur very own decision.